Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Resolutions

"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential." ~Ellen Goodman

A conversation last night with a woman I sponsor:

she: I am going to do some resolutions.
more goals, since no one keeps resolutions, and i reach goals all the time
me: resolutions... good.
meaning goals good, resolutions are part of our disease
10:40 PM she: really?
jeez, i learn something new like every MINUTE
10:42 PM me: okay
10:48 PM the bit about resolutions is that they're so like, "I'm going to lose 50 pounds in 2011" or "I'm going to weigh 120 for the party." Not all of them are weight, but they're all our exercising our power to perform something we probably have tried and failed at miserably before.
10:49 PM she: definite truth there
10:50 PM me: and be careful with goals, that they don't become what you intend to do of your own power. They're areas where you feel god's leading you and the steps that seem right for you to take to assist in the process, but you're following the lead.
10:52 PM she: hmmmm, I'm really glad I am talking to you about this
10:53 PM because historically it is me attempting to do things to carve my life how I think it should be. "should"
I'm better in that department, but not exactly sure how to approach my 2011 path
10:54 PM me: Where do you think god's guiding you? What would he have you be on your next birthday? what's necessary for that to happen? how can you allow it to happen?
she: I think God is guiding me home
10:55 PM to create a home
as I have started to
I know that's vague. it's what comes to mind
to eat simpler
be simpler
be honest
me: okay. and what behaviors, if you engage in them, move you in the wrong direction? What are you asking God to help you learn to avoid doing? It comes out the same way, just not with the same mindset.
she: snappy, snippy reactions (out of fear, when I'm threatened - or perceive to be)
10:58 PM that's my trait i'm having the biggest difficulty with right now
not biggest, it's just here because he's taken so many others
11:00 PM me: yes. But remember he turns our defects into attributes. and focused is a very large defect for you, so you've had plenty of practice on the process.
she: so i should pray to be focused on certain things
those types of things
11:01 PM me: or on the client in front of you or on running ten seconds quicker or or or.
she: ok
the now
me: whatever you're properly focused on
me: thinking and reacting to are different things.

11:06 PM she: I guess
I need an "issue"
I feel like I need something wrong. not comfortable when things are fine
so fine in 2011 sounds good
me: probably
11:13 PM she: I wonder if I could spend a little more time being good, every day throughout 2011
11:14 PM me: sounds good. but define good?
she: (you sound like me- that's not specific and how will you know when you get there)
at peace inside, but not a boring peace, a happy peace
like a ripply ocean
excited about life
11:15 PM me: neat
she: not in a crazy, obnoxious way
in that way, you know those people, when you see them, they just radiate energy?
they give off love
I want to be that
11:16 PM me: good
she: things i do that bring me closer to that:
completing planned workouts
11:17 PM
reading recovery literature
reading quotes
11:21 PM so, for setting goals/resolutions for 2011. how do I go about this?
decide where God is leading me
hear it
(not decide)
11:22 PM me: yes. You plan to run fast, you don't decide how fast you'll run, just that you'll put yourself in condition, yield to his leading in training, to run your best possible that day, or by this time next year, or such. Just goals, not measurable objectives. God measures. you don't need to be able to grade his papers.
11:24 PM she: ok. so unlike what we're always taught with SMART goals, don't make them specific, measurable, attainable (because who are we to even guess at our potential), realistic (that one I always disliked), and time bound.
the time bound one, though, seems ok
but if we don't measure, how do we know we got there, or close?
me: because we're blown away by how far god exceeded what we would have set?
11:25 PM she: ahhh
i kinda can see that