"No Longer Needing to be Right"

Consider Psalm 51:1-3, 12.

Several people I sponsor -- okay. When a finger is pointing out three are pointing at the pointer. Several of us in OA -- and we are legion -- have found some real recovery, but the food is messy, anywhere from too much of the right stuff to everything that doesn't grab me first. I went to bed the other night thinking about how to answer this issue, and the answer revealed to me the next morning was plain. Plain, but hard to corral into the blog.

I'll sort through the input:

• For Today (August 10, page 223) starts by quoting Juan Ramón Jiménez saying, "A permanent state of transition is man's most noble condition." Then it begins with, "Change is not compatible with stubborn pride" and ends with "giving up is not giving in, nor is it failing. It is no longer needing to be right."
• As Bill Sees It, page 159, quotes Bill W. in a 1959 letter: "We know that if we rebel against doing that which is reasonably possible for us, then we will be penalized. "
• The Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous says:

The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. (page 63)

It all goes back to who's in charge. "Wow! Thanks, God! That's neat! I can't believe you did that in my life. My hat's off to you. I've got it now. If I need you, I'll call you."

My sponsor spoke the other day of a character defect of "that of feeling like a bother." Oh, yeah! That's us. With each other, and with God. But we're not the carpenter. We're not the potter. We're the building blocks, the material, and it's necessary day after day after day to renew our Third Step resolve to offer ourselves to God to build with us or do with us as he pleases. Do you understand what "do with" could mean? If we're not building materials, what are we? landfill? decoration? tools? Whatever. And whatever is okay, because we're not in charge. We don't have to be important. We don't have to prove to anybody that we're the star, that we are in charge, that we can carry this whole thing off. Nope. We're not in charge. We have to let go after we offer ourselves--or in order to offer ourselves, or both. But have you seen some of the artwork made with what other people consider trash? That's the kind of artist God is. He can make something magnificent out of us, if we just yield and let him.

He strips away the dregs, the bitter ugly crust, the bondage of self. He relieves us of that dead weight. With that gone, we're usable, we're precious material to be used in oh, so many ways. With it intact, we're not worth much at all.

He takes away our difficulties, too. What difficulties? Well, the food cravings. The "clean your plate because the children are starving in China" rules that we pass on to our kids. What a gift we could give them by teaching them to throw away the food they're not going to eat. Instead, we nibble the edible portions, proving to them what we learned as children that an empty plate is a sin. What a legacy for those we love! He takes away the stupid computer games. He takes away the "feeling like a bother." He strips our financial worries, our chaotic home life, our difficulties. All of them. Why? Because we feel so much better without them, of course! It's all for us!

Nope. That "all for us" is one of the difficulties. He takes away our difficulties so victory over them can bear witness to those we would help, not of our goodness and usefulness. Nope. Of his power, his love and his way of life! Oh, that we may do that every day of our lives, to live in his shadow and be his putty. May we do his will ALWAYS!

AA Speaker John A tells of a man who told him, "I hope you take the Third Step." He protested, said he'd taken it with his sponsor. The man told him it wasn't true. He knew that because John A was homeless and jobless, cold and miserable. If John had really done the Third Step, God would be taking better care of him. Settling down later to sleep in his car, he gave up and told God he had. Within a day he had a job and a place to live.

God's not bothered when we trouble him. Instead, he's relieved. It is his good will to give us the kingdom. Just ask.