Self Serving is Not Selfish

Consider Matthew 7:3-5.

My Mac computer's internal dictionary defines self-serving thus:

Having concern for one's own welfare and interests before those of others : public accountability is replaced by self-serving propaganda

While the definition doesn't shout disapproval, the exemplar of use certainly does. We almost mentally equate self-serving and hypocritical. Or at least I do. That's the disease, my putting my thoughts in your mind. Sorry. But Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount wasn't saying not to talk to the fellow about the grain of sand in his eye; he just said see to yourself first, heal thyself! That was a proverb in Jesus' time, one he knew and quoted, because he figured the people there in Capernaum were thinking it. Unlike me, though, Jesus didn't need to heal himself first. I do.

We do. Look at the Twelfth Step. "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps...." We can't give it away if we don't have it. Chapter 8 says:

It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That often makes the difference between failure and success.... Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job -- wife or no wife -- we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.

Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 98)

Clean house? That doesn't mean cleaning somebody else's house. It means we clean our own. In a 1966 letter Bill W says:

Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation -- however we may define this -- he will have little or nothing. For us of A.A., there is even more urgency....

We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first -- a right and necessary kind of self-concern. (As Bill Sees It, page 81)  

But I'm supposed to give service. We're told anytime anybody asks us to do something in program the answer should be yes. Yes. I'm supposed to give service. It's a basic premise of the program, that the way I keep my recovery is by giving it away. But even more basic than that premise are those that say I admit powerlessness, believe God can restore me to sanity, decide to ask him for sanity, look at my life, my character, my patterns of behavior, admit those to another, become ready to change that character where it's defective, ask for the change, identify others I've hurt and fix that then keep doing that and keep doing that and keep doing that AND do service. So yes, I'm supposed to give service. To myself first, then to my "fellows."

And I've given service to you and me both by reminding us of this basic truth I so often set aside because of some of those pesky character defects that make me want to please everybody else to my own detriment.