Self, Humility, Service, Exposure

I can't even figure out who to label this one. I had been looking at rankings in Amazon because of a post on Facebook. And I found in looking at the ranking on the Kindle version of my Slender Steps to Sanity a shocker. I have no clue how many pieces of writing there are in the Kindle category/sub/sub/sub category

• Kindle ebooks
• Advice & How-to
• Health, Mind & Body
• Recovery
• Twelve-Step Programs

but Slender Steps ranks 47th of those. On books, not just Kindle books, it's 179th. Among OA books, it's 24th. Part of me wants to feel pride, part of me wants to hide from that kind of acceptance, part of me is grateful for the opportunity to offer service in this way, and part of me feels absolutely naked.

If I concentrate on that, I will be disabled, blocked, unable to write. I cannot do that. I have a gift and need to continue to offer it to God. I didn't write Slender Steps. I sat there and watched as my fingers typed it. Then I read it and was amazed at what had come out.

I wish I hadn't looked. Like what I weigh, where my book ranks is none of my business. I need to do the next right thing. And that is to write, to move forward in my own recovery so that what I do write may be of some benefit to those I pass it on to. I have substantial fear about this. It's time to ask that God relieve me of my fear and show me what he would have me be. Amen.