Galatians 2:20-21

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!” (NIV)

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But there is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. we asked His protection and care with complete abandon. ~ Alcoholics Anonymous (Kindle Locations 906-908). 

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Who would choose to set grace aside?
God's unmerited love...
would you decline just because
you had not earned it,
it felt like charity?
(Insert graphic,
hand raised, guilty.)
A being possessing all power?
Who would not seek out and find
this greatest of great,
this source of, well, all power?
But how intimidating, how humiliating...
who would decline to search for the source?

(Insert graphic,
hand raised, guilty.)

The law I understand,
the give and take,
punishment for failure,
judgment for those who prove
they deserve it...
beyond a reasonable doubt.
Who expects justice through the law?

(Insert graphic,
hand raised, guilty.)

God, I'm drawn to wrong answers
but they don't give me peace, happiness.
Teach me to accept grace, to seek
the source of all power,
and to know the law gains me nothing.

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (NIV)

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Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known! (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 11)

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Throw in the towel, I'm done. 

It's okay, though. 

I'm not the star, just the understudy.

I'm here, ready to be of service

but when I stand back and watch,

when I just take orders

and do my best,

excellence happens

and I bask in it,

a part of it, 

the beneficiary,

but blown away

by the results.

I can't believe what a work or art

you can craft 

from the raw material

that is me.

Galatians 2:19

It was the Law itself that killed me and freed me from its power, so that I could live for God.

I have been nailed to the cross with Christ. (CEV)

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Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62)

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Whatever
I've tried all these years
over and over again
didn't work.
Why should I trust it to work now?
Do I relish guilt,
savor shame,
revel in remorse?
Emphatically not!
Why, then, should I persist,
why try harder when I know
I could not before have done more
than I did, at least briefly...
I'm incompetent, powerless,
unable to manage my life,
my responsibilities.
It's time to toss my pride in the rag pile
and allow the results
even if I can't claim
responsibility.

God, thank you!
I don't have to be
responsible.

Galatians 2:17-18

Now if, as we seek the real truth about justification, we find we are as much sinners as the Gentiles, does that mean that Christ makes us sinners? Of course not! But if I attempt to build again the whole structure of justification by the Law then I do, in earnest, make myself a sinner. (Phillips)

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It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85)

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Out of alignment
I reclaim my course,
tried, proven untrue,
but so logical, so cogent, so clear.

And so wrong.
Of myself I am nothing.
I become something only when
abandoning myself
I yield to God, to a higher will
a greater good
to the real truth.
The gifts received, recovery gained,
persist conditionally
dependent on my choice
of acceptance or rejection
each this day.

I give up, God.
I still can't run my life.
It's in your hands.

Galatians 2:15-16

“We are Jews by nature and not sinners from among the Gentiles; nevertheless knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the Law but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified..." (NASB)

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"...I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow." (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 42)

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Impossible.

Can't be done.

Never in a million years —
I know because I tried a million times.
It's no more my nature to be good
than it's to be expected
those monkeys can type
Shakespeare's writings.
But those "in the know"
call the monkey-feat
the mathematical term "almost surely."
Sure.
In a pig's eye.
Sure.
In God's hands.

I can't, God.
But you can.
If I turn lose, you will.
Won't you?

Self Worth

Humility is just a correct understanding of your own self worth.

Nearly a century ago, my Sunday school teacher was Mary Hoffeinz, a dear woman teaching the college class across the street from a United Methodist college where her husband was my New Testament professor. I remember Mary most clearly for two truisms. She didn't like singing the chorus of the hymn "Are Ye Able?" After verses like this:

“Are ye able,” said the Master,
“To be crucified with Me?”
“Yea,” the sturdy dreamers answered,
“To the death we follow Thee.”

we were to sing this:

Lord, we are able. Our spirits are Thine.
Remold them, make us, like Thee, divine.
Thy guiding radiance above us shall be
A beacon to God, to love and loyalty.

Mary was quite sure this was pure braggadociousness, that we were no more able than the disciples. Normally she stood in mute protest during the whole song. When that seemed inappropriate under rare circumstances, it became the prayer, "Lord, make us able!"

I also recall her mantra that too many people are continually being born again and never grow up.

Looking back from the perspective of Recovery, I interpret her to say something consistent with, "Live so you don't have to keep doing inventories, Fifth steps, and amends. In other words, work steps Ten, Eleven and Twelve daily, and it's the equivalent of not being born again and again."

Galatians 2:14

When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in front of them all, “You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?..." (NIV)

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Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 62)

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It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 94)

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Hypocrite!

Pretender! Phony!

A sanctimonious sham!

Was Peter deceitful?

Are we all when we claim

to disown selfishness

but recruit for our own benefit?

Others may be – it's not my concern.
What matters is my fraud,
writing such truths when mostly
they're to tutor me,
to school me in my own deceits.
I hear myself share what I wish to be true,
what I strive to receive,
what I know awaits me
when at long last
I lay down my piety
and finally figure out
surrender.

Forgive me my hypocrisy, God.
Please give me true faith.