I was thinking about the fact that you have to read what food myself and others are eating – foods that you are probably abstaining from, and I wanted to let you know I am very appreciative!
Love ya
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Actually, getting the food report does the opposite. Any kind of service in OA reinforces our own program. I think the relevant part of the Big Book and an excellent illustration of how it all works begins on page 100 of the Big Book. Incidentally, here's a neat online version of the BB: anonpress.org/bb/index.htm. There's the other at www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm but the anonpress one, you can cut and paste.
Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.
We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?" If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!
Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.
Many of us keep liquor in our homes. We often need it to carry green recruits through a severe hangover Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. We never argue this question. We feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves.
We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witch burners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it.
Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it.
After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to! (Alcoholics Anonymous, pp 100-103)
I think that's a pretty darned good description of the state of mind. At a meeting yesterday, one of the speakers made banana pudding and I was amazed (and actually turned off!) by how rich she made it, using condensed milk in it and so many cookies. When it was passed around, I was busy when it was put at my place, took it over to another table, and waved it off when they tried to replace it, and it was all without emotion or feeling. The speaker passed out recipe cards afterwards, and I told her I'm not eating any sugar. And it was all easy and natural and no big deal.
I was SO amused when I started fixing my lunch on Tuesday, the first day after six whole days of traveling and eating out. I was making a soup out of 6 oz tuna, 8 oz broccoli and cauliflower and water, and a drink of a protein supplement blended with a peach. I grinned when I found myself really looking forward to it and being so glad I was back where I knew what was in it and what the measurements were! I've always before had trouble measuring, but now it's a relief. I'm not a perfectionist, but I get close, and it feels just plain good.
I'm working in my old profession today but in a different level, the same general procedures but not exactly the same, with an unfamiliar script, one I haven't heard much since the '80s and have never spoken. I've made some mistakes – one of them in two different events, one after the other! It's the kind of stress and embarrassment that would have led to wanting to grab something and stick it in my mouth, but I'm only concerned about where to find a microwave to heat the lunch I brought. It's all so wonderful for the food to feel so right. It's worth getting here, I promise you.
Love,
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