Friday, December 7, 2007

A Permanent Response to Temporary Problems

In the 19th chapter of I Kings, Elijah, afraid, ran from the king's evil intentions. He wanted to live enough to flee danger, but after walking a day alone the desire to live that had sent him on the trip had vanished, and he prayed for his own death. He went to sleep, but an angel woke him, fed him, and led him into his life's work.

I've never considered suicide. Homicide? Yes. I've protected myself from succumbing to my anger by drafting a book showing my preferred method of committing murder, knowing that would be found if anybody looked into my motives and thoughts after the contemplated death. Still, I know many in this program who have contemplated suicide rather than homicide as a way out.

Today I went to the funeral of a talented personable 26-year-old professional who took her own life. Her work was redirecting troubled teens, kids I work with as well, though on a less personal basis. Sometimes, knowing a youngster is on suicide watch, I tell them they are loved, that suicide is a very permanent solution to temporary concerns and problems. I don't know if I've ever had any effect on them. I doubt the woman who died ever heard me say that to the kids, but another who's heard me often expressed the desire the conversation might have taken place. I wish it had, too, though I certainly don't expect she could have been stopped by my words. I feel compelled to write here, though, should the reader need the reassurance.

The neat part about OA is the people. No, not the neat part; an important neat part of OA is people like me and people like you, a family, a home. If you walk into the rooms of OA, you are loved there. And, through that experience, you can find you are loved by many others as well. Through the love of others, you can grow to love yourself. You are loved. I love you. God loves you. Please please, let OA people love you. 

The last three verses of Romans 8:
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
NIV, Romans 8:37-39

Remember. You are loved.

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