Consider Genesis 32:6-8, 19-21, 33:4
A stupid act in our youth can set the entire tenor of our lives. Jacob didn't plot against his brother; he simply followed his mother's directions. And there's a bargain right now on Pacific beach property in Arizona.
Sure, it was Rebekah who hatched the plot, who cooked the goats, who showed Jacob how to feel hairy to his blind father's touch. But Isaac, a grown man, knew his actions were deceitful. His mother's invitation to let the curse rest on her couldn't really change the nature of the actions. Jacob could justify his deceit and theft, but justifications don't change anything—except the perception of the person taking part. We explain our actions and listen to what we say, and after a while we can actually believe the words coming out of our moth convey the truth. Almost, at least. That is almost believe, not almost truth.
But two times Jacob took what rightfully was Esau's. The second came with his mother's help, the securing of the dying man's blessing. The first, Jacob did with no prodding from outside. He had what his brother wanted and took advantage of his brother with his intellect, persuading his twin to sell his birthright for a single meal of stew. Jacob carried the guilt, though Rebekah had amends to make as well.
And Jacob knew it. He approached his brother fourteen years later with fear and trepidation, still trying to hide, to send others in his place, to placate his brother rather than standing tall and accepting the righteous indignation of his brother.
He made amends. They were far from perfect, but Jacob did approach Esau, offering restitution for the theft. And like so many of the people to whom we owe amends we gain not only peace of mind but the reestablishment of family. We become willing to make amends and come face to face with our fear. God takes care of the rest.
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What amend most causes you to fear the process? How would you feel if you were the person who had been harmed by the action you took? You can find the courage to take this step.
1. Remind yourself you decided to go to any length to find a spiritual experience.
2. Ask God for strength and direction to do the right thing no matter what the consequences might be.
3. Remember, even if you may lose your job or reputation or face jail, you are willing.
4. You must not shrink at anything.
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