Thursday, November 1, 2007

Have you reached your bottom?

A young child, after a while, will proclaim, "I can do it myself!" We continue to claim that long after we're young, long past the sweet confidence of mastery a first grader may possess. Weight loss is one of those things we do "all by ourselves" even when we join diet and calorie clubs or have a buddy to support us. We may, of course, pray. But we tend to pray for will-power, for weight loss, for specifics. Even when we ask for help, we want to do it ourselves, make the rules we follow--or at least choose them. More often than not, though, we choose to ignore them, to cheat on them, to overlook them for good cause--or bad cause--or just because.

I did. I tried for years and years and years to do it myself. Let's see...
  • I had the diet pills the family doctor gave me at 13
  • I counted calories.
  • I counted carbs
  • I got gold bumps put in my ears to massage as instructed to keep the hunger from coming back.
  • I got hypnotized.
  • I tried all the name brands...
    • WW
    • Jenny Craig
    • Adkins
    • South Beach
    • Slim-Fast
    • Scarsdale
    • probably more I can't remember right now.
  • I did the grapefruit diet, one I found in Woman's World, anything I read that sounded promising when I felt desperate.
  • Back when amphetamines were not advised but were not illegal for a doctor to prescribe, I drove 150 miles and back to get a bottle of pills for 30 days. When I ran out and realized I was physically needing them, I had the sense not to go back to get the next month's supply.
  • I had friends I'd never met face to face who had a contest to lose from 300 pounds to a sensible weight by email support. Their pictures, and mine, are still taped to the computer where I'm typing.
  • For probably five years I saw a doctor monthly who used all his powers of persuasion and prescription to help me. Using the carb blockers and appetite suppressants, I got to the point I'd use the carb blockers because I intended to eat bad stuff.
  • I bought the Weigh Down book, and it probably told me the same principals I finally found in OA, but I wasn't ready to admit it. Now I am.

I cannot do it myself.

Consider the scripture 2 Thessalonians 2:10(b)-12. It's not a pleasant scripture! Why would Paul talk of God's sending a delusion so all will be condemned? I don't know the future, but I do know the present. There's a literal Hell on earth to which we're condemned when, as compulsive overeaters, we persist in insisting we can manage for ourselves.

In light of my history, and -- I'm guessing -- your own, consider this: Maybe it's necessary for us to absolute reach the rock bottom of despair before we can let go and let God do it. Defeat on my own cleared the path to finding the spiritual way of absolutely conquering the weight I've carried psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually most of fifty years. Praise God, the bottom is there so the top can be found!

What have you tried, sure you could do it on your own? Make your own list. Answer the question, "Where's my bottom?"

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