I made a mistake. I promptly admitted it when called to my attention. She'd asked what could be done to stop such mistakes, and I reminded her I'd already asked for help in that area. The response back lacked a direct offer for help (one I would have had difficulty drumming up the humility to accept anyway) but gave suggestions for getting assistance. No rancor or recrimination came enclosed with the advice. Still, I sit here, chastised. I admitted my fault. The advice is sound. So why do I resent it so?
Forty years ago a teacher asked me to talk to my sister about being a disruption. I decided to quit my leadership role in the extracurricular activity he led, walked home to get the record book, and trudged back, a trip of less than half a mile total. He was not there when I returned, and I never resigned. I could bicker with my sister all I chose, could call her bossy and fight with her. An outsider had no such right!
Resentment. We inventory it, work through it, and find it right back there, smeared in our face. We've worked the steps. We know how to release the poison from our system. But can't I indulge it just a little longer?
Become as a little child. I'm like a child. I'm self-centered, egotistical, fiercely independent, wanting to do it myself!! Become as a little child. Jesus didn't want a childish temper-tantrum. So how do we get back to the kingdom of heaven, that oneness with God we accomplished through the first nine steps? Become as a little child. Whoever humbles himself….
God, grant me the humility to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. So be it.
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How does a child's approach to life resemble the alignment with God we achieve through working the steps?
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