Sunday, March 13, 2011

Assistant Higher Power?

So. I've not studied psychology particularly. I guess I've pretty much avoided knowing about codependency -- knew it struck too close. This definition hits at the heart of my problem. I'm addicted to a person. The definition says:
The codependent may be addicted to another person. In this interpersonal codependency, the codependent has become so elaborately enmeshed in the other person that the sense of self -- personal identity -- is severely restricted, crowded out by that other person's identity and problems.
That kinds of sounds like the codependent at some point made a decision to turn her will and life over to the care of the other person. Bingo. Guilty. So how, if the life and will is already turned over to another person, can the life and will be turned over to God as I understand Him? Is there a role of Assistant Higher Power? If so, which gets it? I'm pretty darned sure in my case the other person and God don't agree on what to do with my life.

I've kept thinking of this as being a 7th Step problem, that God could relieve me of the obsession about the person, but no. It's a 3rd Step issue. One has to go before the other can take over.

I admit I'm powerless over the other person, that letting that person manage my life makes it unmanageable, makes both of us miserable.

I have come to believe that a power really greater than me can restore me to sanity.

I have made a decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I understand Him. I know the post has been occupied for a heck of a long time and that the interloper needs to be evicted. The 3rd Step is a decision, not a fait accompli. I've made a decision that God will be in charge. I'm totally willing and ready. My part is to look to God instead of the person for guidance. God's part is to show me how the heck that can be done. Amen and Amen.



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