Insufficient

I thought about "the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day." (AA Big Book, page 86) Problem was, I didn't consider the plans I didn't remember. At the breakfast table, eating the food I'd told my sponsor I was going to eat for breakfast, I got up to answer the telephone. Before I walked the six or seven feet I said "I had a dentist appointment." Sure enough it was the hygienist. I got there almost 30 minutes late. Trouble is, that's the second time in not too many months I've done the same thing. She was gracious, said she'd have to scold me next time. I didn't need her scolding. In fact, scolding with me makes me feel like I've paid the price and the score is even. Forgiveness I find much harder to take. Her 9 AM appointment didn't show up and it didn't put her out of her schedule, so I'm glad for that, but it doesn't help much.

I got in the car afterwards. I listen to a lot of MP3's downloaded from xa-speakers.org. I had a CD playing in the car I'd made from there, Jim W. He said "We did everything we could to prove ourselves insufficient, and to know God you cannot be sufficient." So I sit here, insufficient. I won't forget a third dentist appointment, either. God help me.