It's the Vacuum that Bugs Me.

I would have said the games pulled me, but now, in the jetsam of the habit I find the pull is the vacuum, the need to fill every minute, the fear of moving to something real, something meaningful, the terror of the unknown.

I have a list of options, things I can turn to. This blog is one, and the most comfortable at this moment. Yet the other options smile, knowing their long hibernation has ended, that my life is awakening. They shimmer, exhilerated their moment may come at last.

Procrastination is chronic, low intensity fear. The only part of that failing to ring true is the "low." I had a mentor once, a wise old man. He continues to mentor me, long past the end of his life. He's telling me now, as he did when I was a newcomer to his profession, "Sometimes the best way out is through."

I have a book to edit. Excuse me while I take the first step. Did you know Lau-Tzu didn't say that a journey of a thousand miles was begun with the first step? He said raising the food started it. Actually, on further research, the site www.QuotationsPage says:

Although this is the popular form of this quotation, a more correct translation from the original Chinese would be "The journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one's feet." Rather than emphasizing the first step, Lau Tzu regarded action as something that arises naturally from stillness. Another potential phrasing would be "Even the longest journey must begin where you stand." [note by Michael Moncur, September 01, 2004]

Ready, set....