Part of the fun of the day was getting to know a woman who's asked me to sponsor her. I've seldom met anybody--probably never--whose life and interests so closely parallel my own. We spent a delightful time together, and I look forward to many more in the years to come.
The games that plagued me until 15 days ago beckon to me occasionally, but it's a gentle call, one I can ignore and move on to something else. The shift from the obsession to this peace staggers me. It's a gift from God as clearly as my abstinence.
I worked through the 7th step in the workbook the last few days, sending the result to my own sponsor. This second time through the steps continues to yield rich results, and I'm so glad my sponsor suggested it. I've learned a lot about me and about God through it.
I'm bored tonight, so I wrote a poem.
Enmeshed.
Co-dependent,
my body an extension
of his,
a universal
remote control.
I exist in his shadow
in his mind
and mine.
Ask me my thoughts?
I answer with his.
Inquire of my health?
I’ll report on his pain.
We think first of him.
Release.
Can I? How?
Like a marionette
dropped, drug,
our strings now
desperately entwine.
Can I unclench his fist?
I forgive. Him. And me.
I release him, set him free.
Prosperity be his. Serenity.
He receives, I get it too.
Enmeshed in release.
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