Neither life nor death will separate me from God's love. I know. I've loved this passage for a long time, I've used it for theological arguments where mine is a minority position, I've rested in the firm conviction of salvation. My life or my death, it's in God's hands.
It doesn't say that! There's no limitation saying "Neither my life nor my death nor [lots of other stuff] will separate me from God's love!" What about the death of other people, those close to us we rue, regret, or blame on God, or those of our enemies, on whom we wish a quicker one. What about other peoples' lives?
Consider the passage in the Big Book about our directing the play.
Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. (AA Big Book pages 59-60)
I knew I tried to direct little things, when I occasionally thought about
this passage--one act plays, or even just scenes. What of epic dramas, though? That never occurred to me, but I'm absolutely guilty of that one, perhaps even more than the mini plays. I know best when people should bow out--die--or when God/Fate/Chance is too cruel in ripping a person out of the play too soon. Foolish me. I'm wrong.
My parents have lost their dignity and quality of life. After sixty-six years of marriage and more than ninety years, enough is enough. Let us remember them as they were! That's not my decision to make. It's God's, and he doesn't need my input. I know a lot of OA's consider suicide. While I never have, murder has crossed my mind and wishing people dead has dwelt there for long stretches. No more, with God's help. I'll leave that in his hands. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference! Amen, so be it!
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How do you direct life's plays?
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