Wings.

A conversation with a woman I sponsor tonight:

Me: I want you to see your own actions and to focus on them. You can't change his actions unless you change your own and he changes his in response to your changing yours. I honestly believe as you get to the point you can turn this over to god, to look to him for the assurance of non-abandonment, for the source of all the love you need, then you'll get more and more and more non-abandonment and love from the other people in your life.

Sally: i think that'd be the case

Me: Okay. so pray for the willingness to believe, then pray to believe, when you have the willingness, that God will not abandon you and that he loves you.

Sally: wow, i kind of think "what if god isn't really there, isn't enough?" I am being very honest with you and hubby today. for better or worse

Me: That's fine. that's very very good.

Sally: like i can't touch god, what if i'm making his "words" up?

Me: That's okay too. Here's a poem I wrote recently:

Not God

God's in you not like a blueberry
in a muffin but like the ocean
in a wave. God's not in the universe;
the universe is in god. If god's
your co-pilot, you're in the wrong seat.
Don't go to god with a list of things
to fix, his marching orders. Report for duty
ready to hear him give your orders for today.
You can't keep the hair on your head from
falling out; he can hold worlds and stay
their course. If you don't like the god you met
in church or synagogue or at the mosque,
toss him out. God's out there, everywhere,
anywhere, not in the air but the air itself. Toss
out your inadequate god and meet the real thing
but most of all understand that you're not god.

Sally: I like the not god. no demands

Me: Thanks

Sally: weird thing? i just heard a voice in my head "it's okay, i'm here. you're not making it up"

Me: Very very good. He takes care of us if we just give him the chance.

Sally: kinda like jumping off a cliff

Me: But he gives you wings.

Me: So, can I quote some of this discretely in my blog?

Sally: absolutely!