Beyond Resentment

The resentment's not new - no, it's ancient. I've overcome it before, grown past it. I can do it again, will do it again, am doing it now. It's a justified resentment. I have not always known than, tried for decades to become the person who wasn't treated so badly. In the process, I was told I was passive aggressive, the first time I'd ever heard the term way way way back when. It was defined then for me as "I don't get mad, I get even." Truth be told, I never got even by doing poorly what I was ordered to do, by thwarting through seething anger. I never really found peace until I found the Steps. In the rooms of recovery, I learned I didn't have to accept anybody else's opinion of me, that I could be more than he thought I was, more than I thought I was. I am not limited. God is not limited.

God, give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change - him, his opinion of me, his treatment of me. Give me the courage to change what I can change - me, my opinion of myself, my treatment of him, my attitude toward him, my rejection on his attitude and opinion of me. Give me the wisdom to know the difference. That's happening, again. I went to sleep listening to Joe and Charlie, came back to bed to the discussion of unearned (they used some other word) resentments. So, God is giving me the wisdom I need. Again. I will release the weight of resentment, and I firmly believe that weight has been making my knees hurt. I claim good health and happiness for this, my new day, my new year, my new life, resentment free. Thank God. I will not be mad, not even even. I'll soar past and fly.