Monday, September 24, 2007

24 Days One Day at a Time

This blog is three weeks old today. I started it for a lot of reasons, but one pressing at the time was my obsession with computer games and my need to pour that frustration into writing without violating my anonymity in OA. On that Monday I had not opened what I then referred to as "stupid computer games" going into the third day. That abstinence continues, making this the 24th. The obsession is gone, as surely as the food obsession. I'm almost as amazed at the game obsession being listed as the food one. I didn't do either. God did.

I spent a good deal of the weekend on the computer, but I worked long and hard on an obligation I've known I needed to be working on since August or earlier. Since it needs to be finished by October 1 and is a big project, it was high time I got busy! I found the experience gratifying, challenging, and exhilarating--by far a bigger thrills than even exciting computer games, not just the Spider Sol, Sudoku, and Tetris I tended to play!

In Sunday School yesterday we read:
To claim God’s favor in our daily lives and agendas, even for every trivial lucky break and game-winning field goal, without acknowledging the world of suffering, the world of other people’s struggles, is to use God’s name in vain. (Ray Waddle, Against The Grain: Unconventional Wisdom from Ecclesiastes, page 18)
I found the timing of reading this ironic. The day before I had spent considerable time looking for something I needed that day. I'm working each morning on starting the day asking God to direct my thinking and to allow me to walk with him (changed from the earlier inviting him to walk with me.) So, I prayed, "Okay, God, where did I put them?" The answer, immediately obvious, led to my uncovering them in less than a minute. Sunday morning, with that in mind, I said "Okay, God. I need to find an agent." This, of course, is a much bigger task, a more meaningful one in the long run. I had an idea of a step I needed to take, one I'll take as soon as I publish this post--despite the quote above. I'll always remember the quote or at least the gist of it, though, and put my own requests into context of God's will, not mine. But I won't be so doggedly independent that I won't accept his proffered help. One day at a time.

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